No Shame Sex Ed
How To Get Into BDSM, Even In A Pandemic
Bustle's sex and relationship editor sits down with a professional dominatrix to discuss the basics of practicing BDSM.
Do chains and whips excite you? How about clear lines of communication? Before you spend your last months of quarantine building a sex dungeon in your basement, try scheduling a virtual appointment with a professional dominatrix, submissive, or kink-friendly therapist to truly prep yourself for your journey into BDSM.
In order to do some of the homework for you, Bustle's sex and relationships editor, Iman Hariri-Kia, chatted with professional dominatrix Danielle Blunt to get the real first tips for starting BDSM.
What is BDSM?
BDSM is a portmanteau that can be interpreted a few ways, but Blunt defines it as "bondage and discipline, dominant submission, sadism, and masochism."
Where do I start?
Education and community are the most important aspects for anyone who participates in BDSM, but especially for beginners. Blunt suggests following professional subs and dommes (and tipping them for their content) to explore what you like and reading websites like KinkOutEvents for educational programming and finding community.
If I don't have a partner can I participate in BDSM?
Yes! While a pandemic is not ideal for participating in munches (casual social gatherings) or play parties (exactly what they sound like), you can still explore your own kink with yourself, a professional, or an online community.
What are some ways to explore my kink with a partner?
Blunt suggests some nonsexual exercises that play with power dynamics in addition to writing your own erotic fiction. Check out the video for all the details!
What toys should I get?
Like everything sex-related, it's really up to your own preferences! Blunt loves a whip, but suggests you check out a website like Babeland and peruse with a partner to see what turns you on.
Finally, remember that no matter your kink, the most important part of any healthy sexual exploration is communication and consent in every part of your journey.
Host: Iman Hariri-Kia
Expert: Mistress Blunt
Executive Creative Director: Lauren Sofair
Executive Producer: Whitney Buxton
Producer: Lauren Tegtmeyer
Director of Photography: Marshall Stief
Camera Operator: Jasmine Velez
Design Director: Andenew Ayele
Motion Designer: Jeff Donlan
Editor: Charlotte Carpenter
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