TikTok's "Move In Silence" Theory Will Help You Manifest Your Goals

The moment you decide to go to grad school, write a book, or train for a half marathon, it’s only a matter of time before you announce it in the group chat. It’s normal to want to share your goals, but sometimes friends and family say the wrong thing — and just like that, the wind is knocked out of your sails.

It’s why a lot of people on TikTok are talking about the importance of “moving in silence” when chasing dreams or making big changes in your life. Instead of providing a daily play-by-play, the idea is to keep your plans to yourself and only share the results once they’ve come to fruition.

On the app, creator @noemoneyyy talked about working on her goals in private and then letting the results speak for themselves. “Keep the really good things to yourself,” she said in an April 10 clip. “As a former oversharer who used to tell every single friend, every single family member, or a partner everything I was doing, I promise you things always work out better when you keep them to yourself.”

In her comments, one person said, “I’m an oversharer too and [it would make me] lose motivation or just horrible things would happen.” Another wrote, “For real. Every time I open my big mouth it never goes as planned.” Here’s what to know about the concept of moving in silence, according to an expert.

Why You Should “Move In Silence”

According to Alyson Curtis, LMHC, a licensed mental health counselor and owner of Attuned Therapy, you might feel the need to talk about your goals for a variety of reasons. Either you’re excited, looking for support, making conversation, or seeking validation or accountability. The more people who know that you’re running every day, the less likely you are to give up, right?

But here’s the thing: If you tell someone your goals and they start asking too many questions — or worse, if you sense that they don’t fully believe you can do it — it can throw you off your game in a big way. “It can plant doubts in your mind, which can even cause you to undermine your own goal, either consciously or unconsciously,” Curtis tells Bustle.

It’s tough to think about, but some of the people closest to you might even inadvertently send bad vibes your way. “Sharing goals can absolutely invite overt and covert negativity,” she says. If they don’t want to see you succeed, it might explain why your plans seem to fall apart out of nowhere. Sharing also opens the floor for unsolicited advice, which can confuse your plans and halt your progress.

On the flip side, TikTok creator @_wowzzerz talked about what it feels like when you tell people about your plans and they start to cheer you on. That premature excitement has a weird way of throwing your goals off course, too.

An onslaught of “Omg, congrats!” texts can release dopamine in your brain, making it feel like you’ve already completed your goals — even when you haven’t. The accolades trick your brain into thinking you’ve already run the marathon or finished the book, and just like that, you give up before reaching the finish line. “It’s like you’re getting an artificial accomplished feeling,” she said.

Curtis agrees that this is another common pitfall. “The reality is, a lot of goals are motivated by social approval and reaction,” she says. “If we get social approval just by sharing what the goal is, it unintentionally de-incentivizes us from actually completing the goal, because we got the social approval upfront.”

How To Move In Silence

If you’ve noticed that the good things in your life seem to fall apart the moment you mention them out loud, then why not test drive silence? Instead of texting your friends right after a great first date to share all the deets, keep the excitement to yourself. Toss it in your journal versus the group chat, and who knows? You might have more luck with hanging onto a relationship.

Another option is to share tiny bites of info without going overboard. “It’s perfectly reasonable to say something like, ‘I’m just playing around with my morning routine to see what works for me,’” says Curtis, instead of talking about how you’re waking up at 5 a.m. and feeling better than ever. “In this example, you’re being honest about the fact you’re working on your morning routine, but you’re not overshooting your own runway [or inviting skepticism.]”

According to Curtis, it’s often best to work on goals by yourself, as it allows you to trust your own gut, figure out what works for you, and keep your motivation up. “By moving in silence, you’re really creating a better experiment for yourself by not allowing external biases to influence how you’re seeing results,” she says. “It doesn’t make much sense, yet there’s real truth to goals lasting longer when we work on them silently.”

Source:

Alyson Curtis, LMHC, licensed mental health counselor, owner of Attuned Therapy