A $60,000 Matchmaker's Guide To Finding Love

Summer’s hottest rom-com is Materialists, which stars Dakota Johnson as a matchmaker who sets up New York’s most eligible bachelors and bachelorettes. Art imitates life: Another tall brunette is currently making a splash in the city’s dating scene.

Regitze Rollins recently launched Ethos + Eros, a business intended to help people find love. Though matchmaking is a departure from her past work — modeling for Vogue and Chanel (casual) — romance has been a long-held fascination for the 31-year-old. Rollins grew up in Denmark, where her mom was a sex and relationships therapist, and as a teen, she’d sit in on sessions as a note-taker. She dreamed of studying psychology but entered the fashion world after her boarding school roommates sent photos to an agency.

Her career forced dating to take a back seat, with her barely even having time to meet Raya matches. But in 2018, a mundane trip to a Brooklyn dog park changed her life. “In walked this gorgeous, tall, confident man,” she says. “My body just spoke, like, Oh, I need this guy.”

When he left, she followed him to his car and knocked on his window. “He said, ‘Hi, can I help you?’ I said, ‘No, I just want to say hi because you’re beautiful,’” she says. “We went for wine two nights later, and I just knew on the first date.” That man — Twahlee Rollins, a dog trainer — is now her husband.

During the pandemic, Rollins’ modeling work slowed down, giving her the time and space to pursue her original passion. She became certified as a life coach and somatic sex and relationship coach. Her mission: “How come successful, good-looking people are unsuccessful in finding love? I wanted to help them,” she says.

Two years later, Rollins realized that dream with the launch of Ethos + Eros, which debuted just after Memorial Day with a dinner party at Crane Club, a buzzy new members-only club in the Meatpacking District.

The dimly-lit room was packed with sharp jawlines, crystal tumblers, creamy taper candles, and a long table draped with scarlet flower garlands. Rollins glowed in an ab-baring coral gown as a group of photographers snapped away, flashbulbs popping. The guests were equally beautiful and impressive. (I was seated between Fleur du Mal founder Jennifer Zuccarini and Julian Niznik, a VP at IMG Models who referred to Hailey Bieber and Gigi and Bella Hadid by first name only.)

A six-month Ethos + Eros membership costs $60,000, and Rollins says she plans to work with a max of three to five clients at once — exclusively high-profile straight men in their 30s to 50s. Below, however, she offers up a bit of wisdom for all, sharing how singles can distinguish between seductive sparks and true compatibility.

Why can it be so hard to tell if someone is right for you?

When we fall in love, our brain pretty much shuts down. Because of the chemistry cocktail, we tend to only look at the attraction and butterflies, and we’re not able to clearly see if this person fits our needs and goals.

How can you prolong that period of critical thinking?

Make a checklist. What is so important that you can’t live without it? Money and finances, family and kids, faith and religion, health and fitness, traveling, your plans for the future? Cut it down to the top five values.

When we’re attracted to someone, we tend to forget about the checklist, so you have to keep reminding yourself to focus. Journaling when you come home from a date can help. How did you feel — calm, anxious, bored? Why do you think you felt that way? Were you attracted? Do they have what you need?

Any tips for a great first date?

Sometimes, when successful women go on dates, they test men, like, “What does he have to deliver?” They come off as, “I don’t need you.” That energy is not very inviting. Men might think, “I don’t know what my role is here. She’s got it under control.”

So, soften up a little bit. Be interested in connecting. Share something vulnerable.

If you’re not feeling a connection after the first date, what should you do?

Give it a second chance. Oftentimes, especially with men, they think they have to sell themselves, almost like a business interview. They’re like, “I got a car, I have this job, I make this much money, blah, blah, blah.” But on the other side, the woman is just sitting there like, “He didn’t even ask me a single question.”

Women play a part, too. Sometimes they show up guarded, overly critical, or acting too “cool” to let the man in. By the second date, that first layer of nerves is usually gone, and both people can drop the performance to go a level deeper.

How important are looks?

You should not be turned off — of course not — but you don’t need to find a perfect 10. Attraction can build. Your values and compatibility matter way more.

Do opposites attract? For example, if one person is silly and the other is serious.

Maybe it’s good in the beginning, but long term, I think it’s going to drive you nuts. I know someone who is big on humor, always giggly. Her husband is the opposite — very serious, heavy energy. It makes her really sad. Sometimes, she just wants to have a glass of wine and not care and be free and laugh outside in the garden while the kids sleep.

What does a strong relationship look like?

You can be yourself. You’re not trying to perform or make the other person like you. There’s honesty, communication, and a willingness to choose your partner every single day.

But also, know that there’s no perfect person out there. I love my husband to death, but he watches basketball every night, which drives me crazy. You have to decide what is really important, and you have to sacrifice in some areas. That’s just how life is. You cannot get it all. Sorry.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.