The 10 Most Awkward Things You Can Say After Sex

It’s amazing how quickly the mood can shift in the room once you’re finished having sex. One minute, it feels like you’re starring in a passionate movie scene. Then the next moment, it’s as awkward as can be.

It’s tough to know what to say after sex, which is why it’s so common to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. As you lie next to your partner, you might say something cringeworthy like, “Wow, so, yeah...” What’s worse, though, is being on the receiving end of a blasé comment. Without even meaning to, these words can highlight the discomfort in the air — and put everyone on edge.

According to Sofie Roos, a sexologist and couples therapist, you shouldn’t feel bad if you never know what to say after sex. “It’s such a vulnerable, literally a naked and stripped down, situation, and combining that with the cocktail of hormones, it can leave many of us not really knowing what to say, especially with a new partner,” she tells Bustle.

To prevent awkwardness as much as possible, Roos recommends focusing on compliments to lighten the atmosphere. “You’re so hot” or “you’re such a good kisser” could do the trick. Cuddling is also a good fallback plan, as is simply going to sleep.

As you get more comfortable with a partner, your post-hookup pillow talk should feel more natural, but it’s also possible you’ll always feel slightly off, at least until you put your clothes back on. With that in mind, here’s a look at the 10 most awkward things to say (or hear) after sex.

1. "So, uh... yeah."

Even if you just had the most mind-blowing hookup imaginable, you might catch yourself saying something like this right after the fact. It’s awkward because it can make you seem bored, disinterested, or unimpressed with what just went down.

In some cases, though, it can be seen as a huge compliment. It’s possible the sex was so good that you literally can’t form words. If your partner mumbles “ums” and “uhhs” after a hookup, take it as a good sign.

2. "I'm gonna go..."

This one’s tough to hear, but sometimes it’s even tougher to say. While you don’t want to send the wrong message by skedaddling right after sex, sometimes your exit plan is all you can think about.

“Not wanting to stay after sex is OK,” says Roos. “It can be about not feeling comfortable to share that kind of emotional closeness, that you don’t have time, that you don’t sleep well with that person, or that you simply have too much energy to lay there.”

Of course, it’s more common for one person to depart when you aren’t in a relationship, but even long-term couples may decide to separate for the night. “To make it feel OK for all, I recommend expressing your feelings and letting your partner know why you want to leave by being honest, kind, and respectful,” she adds. “Say how you feel without hurting, and be open to hearing them out, too!”

3. "Do you know how to get home?"

This probably isn’t the best thing to say to someone right after a hookup, especially if it’s 3 a.m. and leaving would mean sending them out into the night. It also sucks to hear since it heavily implies you’ve overstayed your welcome.

4. "Oh, I just got a text."

It’s never fun to see a partner’s phone light up in the middle of the night, but what’s even worse is if they reach over to answer it. Are they meeting up with someone else? Are they looking for a reason to ignore a conversation with you? You may never know.

5. "Wow, I didn't realize you were into that..."

According to Roos, this one might seem innocent on the surface, but if you think about it a little too long, it can start to feel embarrassing.

A comment like, “Wow, that was new,” or “Huh, I didn’t know you were into that,” might feel like it’s lined with judgment, especially if you were boldly stepping outside your comfort zone to try a new sex position or experiment with a kink.

If you can’t stop wondering what they meant, let your partner know.

6. "Was it good for you?"

While it could be seen as a valid question, as well as a way to check in with your partner post-hookup, you can totally tell when someone is just trying to fill the silence. In this situation, reading the room is your best bet. Sometimes a simple “yes” is the easiest way to go.

7. “OK, so what was your name again?”

Sometimes hookups happen fast. One minute you’re scrolling Tinder, the next you’re lying next to a perfect stranger in a pool of sweat. According to Roos, admitting how little you know about each other in that exact moment is cringey as can be. Save it for a dinner date — or let them live in infamy as your nameless hookup.

8. “Do you like pineapple on pizza?”

You know someone’s uncomfortable when they revert to awkward Hinge bio prompts as a way to start a conversation. If you aren’t sure what to say while you lie in bed, “just talking about something else will often do, such as asking what they’re doing this weekend,” says Roos. You can also try to remember the conversation you were having before you started having sex and pick up where you left off.

9. “What was that sound?”

It’s possible you love lying next to your partner and recapping the events of the evening, from how you almost fell off the bed to how difficult it is to have sex in the shower.

That said, it’s easy to go overboard when you’re doing a play-by-play. According to Roos, you don’t need to point out every mishap, including bodily functions, smells, etc.

10. "Sorry."

It doesn’t matter if you finished quickly or couldn't get there at all. Saying “I’m sorry” will make the situation much worse. It’s way better to own it, laugh it off, or have a more serious convo later.

That said, sometimes there’s nothing you can do to prevent awkwardness after sex. Another option is to embrace it, say whatever comes to mind, and hope it brings you and your partner closer together.

Source:

Sofie Roos, sexologist for Passionerad, couples therapist