Olivia Wilde Has Thoughts On Fans Who Criticized Her & Harry Styles

Nearly four years after their headline-making relationship came to an end, Olivia Wilde has nothing but nice things to say about her ex, Harry Styles. But she’s still a little confused about why people criticized their romance so much in the first place.

During a June 17 appearance on Call Her Daddy, host Alex Cooper asked Wilde what was so “triggering” to critics about Styles dating an “older woman” in a position of power. (Wilde directed Styles in 2022’s Don’t Worry Darling.)

“I don’t know how much I understand it yet,” Wilde said, adding that it “had very little do with me.” Rather, she said it was “something that we have done to women for a long time.”

She continued, “I think it also had a lot to do with the kind of parasocial relationship people have with him, which is a burden that is very weighty and not something I envy. And he carries it with grace.”

The pair began dating during the making of Don’t Worry Darling. Even though the film went through every kind of rumor mill — who can forget where they were when #spitgate broke? — Wilde reiterated that her and Styles’ time together was decidedly not dramatic. “We had the loveliest relationship. Like so, so sweet and so beautiful, and really, actually very domestic and kind and lovely,” she said on Call Her Daddy. “I think that we existed in this little bubble, and the judgment never really got into that bubble — which was a miracle.”

However, she acknowledged that their “happiness” made critics more inflamed. “Like, I would go to his shows and dance, and people were like, Oh, how could she? ... How dare you dance and smile.”

Wilde also cited psychotherapist Esther Perel, who served as a consultant on her latest film, The Invite, in theorizing another reason for the judgment she faced. “In this country, motherhood means, No more sexual being for you, young lady. That part of you is over now,” she said. (Wilde shares two children with her ex, Jason Sudeikis.)

The filmmaker explained that there’s a “puritanical basis” to that kind of thinking — as if to tell a mom, “You are no longer capable of desire. You don’t deserve it. You have served your purpose, and now if I see you without your baby and you are enjoying yourself as an individual woman, I see that as a betrayal of this covenant.”