15 Flirty Phrases That'll Get Your Long-Term Partner In The Mood Instantly

For many people, flirting is one of the best things about being single. It’s something you can do on dating apps with a cute match or while out on a Friday night. The same fun flirtiness often carries over into the early days of a relationship, too. Nobody flirts more than a couple in the honeymoon stage.

“When we first start dating, our brains are flooded with dopamine, the feel-good chemical that makes you extra playful, energized, and confident,” says Emma Shandy, LMFT, a relationship and sex therapist with ESA Counseling. “Flirting is almost a default response as it signals to the other person that you are interested in them — and it can also be incredibly bonding.”

Unfortunately, it often isn’t long before the flirting fizzles and you find yourselves going through the motions. “It is common for flirting to wane once you've been with someone for a while,” Shandy tells Bustle. “Over time, dopamine wears off as our brains shift more towards stability and safety. Things become routine, and you might even take each other for granted. It's incredibly easy to let the day-to-day stress of life take front and center.”

That’s why, for many couples, it’s so important to add more flirtiness back into the relationship. “It’s an easy thing to start cultivating again with some intention,” she says. When you make an effort to flirt with your long-term partner, it not only brings back a spark and helps you feel close, but it can also boost attraction and make sex fun again. Here are 15 flirty phrases to get you started.

Flirty Phrases That’ll Turn Up The Heat

1. If you keep looking at me like that, I’ll forget what I’m trying to say...

According to Shandy, this is a cute thing to admit while you’re talking IRL. Say it over dinner or while sitting on the couch having a catch-up, and you’ll be running to the bedroom in no time.

2. I can’t stop thinking about the way you looked this morning, and it’s distracting me at work.

Shandy also likes this phrase because it sets you up to think about each other all day long. Not only will it make your partner feel good and wanted, but if you send it in the middle of the day, it’ll build a ton of anticipation. By the time you reconnect in the evening, it’ll be pure fireworks.

3. You know it’s not fair when you walk around in those pants...

If your partner looks good in those pants — you know, the gray sweats or the yoga pants that fit just right — then let them know! They might even start wearing them on purpose to flirt back.

4. You come here often?

This is a cute thing to say while wiggling your eyes at your partner as they walk through the room, and it’ll get the message across perfectly.

5. Is it bad that all I want to do is go home?

The next time you’re out — think dinner, get-together with mutual friends, etc. — whisper this in your partner’s ear and then watch as their eyes light up. The implication is obvious. (You want them.)

6. You smell so good.

This is a simple yet flirty phrase that you can employ while hugging, cuddling, or getting ready to go out, but you’ll get bonus points if you say it when they’re sweaty. It shows that you’re so into them and love their pheromones, even after all these years.

7. Come here.

There’s something extra steamy about this demanding phrase. Say it when they’re getting ready to come to bed or when you first reunite after a long day of work.

8. I’m going to take a shower. Want to join me?

This one isn’t flirty so much as it is straight-up tempting. Shower sex is a great way to mix things up — and something that often gets lost in longer relationships.

9. You’re making me blush.

To remind each other that you’re in love, you can flirt with a simple “you’re making me blush.” It shows that you still have a romantic impact on each other, even though you see each other doing mundane, unsexy things every day, like vacuuming or taking out the trash.

10. I have a surprise for you tonight...

According to Dr. Trina Read, a sexologist and author of The Sex Course, flirting is one way to “simmer” arousal outside the bedroom. If one of you needs a little more time to get in the mood, an early-morning text with this phrase might do the trick.

11. If we weren’t in public right now, I’d be all over you.

Imagine saying this at a button-up formal event, like a wedding, or even while out running errands.

12. Remember that time when we...

The next time you’re hanging out with nothing to do, look your partner straight in the eye and bring back a sexy memory, like that time you hooked up in the back of your car. They’ll likely want to recreate it right then and there.

13. Guess what I’m not wearing...

Another surefire way to make your partner sweat is by asking them to guess what you’re not wearing. Just like that, their mind will flood with the steamiest imagery.

14. I really missed you.

The next time you spend time apart — even if it’s just for an hour — go up to your partner and let them know how much you missed them. Not only will it remind them that it’s still possible to miss each other, but it’ll also imply that you want something more. Wink wink.

15. You’re so sexy!

This one gets straight to the point, and yet it often goes unsaid. According to Read, it’s important to remind your partner that you find them sexy, especially if you’re just going through the motions of everyday life. Why not say this more often? It’s perfectly flirty, and it’ll also put them in the mood.

Sources:

Emma Shandy, LMFT, relationship, sex therapist with ESA Counseling

Dr. Trina Read, sexologist, author of The Sex Course