I don’t shy away from the topic of sex. Truth is, I once used my orgasm to manifest a deeper connection with my now ex-boyfriend. And despite our relationship not working out, I can attest to the positive impact my spell had on our intimacy — not to mention the unbelievably amazing sex that followed. After all, witches have long used sex spells to attract stronger orgasms, partners, and even careers into their lives. Climaxes are capable of much more than providing a burst of euphoria; they can help your dreams materialize. Because my pleasure is pertinent to my personal growth, I wanted to try sex magick to tap into my sensuality and awaken my inner sex goddess.
“All magick uses a combination of personal, natural, and spiritual energy in order to work,” Sarah Lyons, a witch and author of How to Study Magic, tells Bustle. Sex magick uses sex, orgasms, and sensual play in spells to manifest your desires. Lyons suggests embodying a deity or an archetype when practicing these spells. “Wear perfume you think they would like or wear their symbol as a necklace,” she says.
As with any spell, mine began with setting intentions. Lovehoney’s sex expert Javay Frye-Nekrasova (MEd) says the key to accessing your sexual power is being clear about what you want. My goal was to harness my sexual power, so I wrote down that I wanted to explore and connect with pleasure and bring more of it into my life. Keeping my written manifestations close by, I lit scented candles and turned on 528hz frequencies, the healing frequency for love. I took a steamy shower and massaged lotion, then oil, all over my body. I also prayed to Aphrodite, the literal Greek goddess of pleasure and sex. (What better deity to consult for this endeavor?)
I sat down to meditate, focusing hard on my manifestations. Staring into my candle, I repeated, “I am a sexual goddess, I am a magnet for pleasure.” Then, I was finally ready for some solo play. I fixated on my intentions as Lyons advised, and when I brought myself to climax, I sent all my manifestations out into the Universe. Frye-Nekrasova suggested I keep a log of my emotions and thoughts post-orgasm as an effective way to bring mindfulness to my pleasure practice. Plus, it’s a good way to measure how my spell is working.
Was it a coincidence that the next time I had sex with my partner, it was deeply intense?
I can’t say that I immediately felt like the embodiment of Aphrodite. However, I did notice that I felt more deeply connected with sensations in and out of my body. For example, I appreciated more non-sexual sensations, like holding hands and feeling the warmth of the shower. I also felt more confident in my sexual prowess. I mean, was it a coincidence that the next time I had sex with my partner, it was deeply intense? I felt more connected to my partner than ever before, almost like were both in a trance. I couldn’t help but wonder if this is how Aphrodite feels when others worship her.
But my biggest takeaway is awakening my inner sex goddess doesn’t require a partner — it’s very much a one-woman show, at least for me. If I could embody the power of Venus with another person, that’s just a bonus.
You don’t need a partner or have to cast an elaborate spell for it to work its magic. You don’t even need to have an orgasm to do so. “Sex, just like magic, is about power, and you can embody or manifest that power however you choose,” Lyons says. Do what feels good to you.
As for me, I’ll be sure to live more hedonistically by welcoming all types of pleasure into my life, because as Frye-Nekrasova puts it, “Discovering all the possibilities for pleasure can help empower us sexually and in our daily lives.” If I want more pleasure in my life, well, that’s all in my control.
Javay Frye-Nekrasova (MEd), sex expert