Stassi Schroeder Is Ready To Nip, Tuck, & Mind Her Business

In Chill Chat, Bustle sits down with celebrities and influencers to talk about all things wellness, from daily routines to hacks for getting a good night’s sleep. Here, Stassi Schroeder dishes on her regrettable Botox experience, potential plastic surgeries, and how motherhood has made her take self-care more seriously.

As the resident queen bee of Vanderpump Rules, Stassi Schroeder had all the confidence of Regina George, mixed with the quotability of Shakespeare. She made it clear exactly who she was (“the devil, and don’t you forget it”), what she wanted (a Pinot Grigio), and where everyone else in the group stood with her at any moment.

“I look back on Vanderpump Rules, and I spoke with such conviction,” Schroeder tells me over Zoom. “I was 23 years old, and I thought I was right no matter what. But the older I get, the more I realize I'm not always right. More often than not, I'm wrong. I thought I would be more sure of myself the older I got, but I’ve let go of that idea.”

Now a wife and mom of two, she still has “that streak to want to be right,” just with a little more perspective — and a lot fewer side parts and statement necklaces. “Having kids really forces you to be introspective,” she says. “I lost myself for a bit, especially after I had my daughter. But I realized I would be a better mom if I was actively taking care of myself, feeling good, and liking the way I looked in the mirror.”

For Schroeder, it can be as simple as wearing makeup, even if she’s just spending the day at home. (Though her new show, House of Stassi, has given her plenty of reason to get glam.) Accessorizing any loungewear outfit with “earrings and rings” is also a must. “It's like I’m tricking myself into thinking I have all my sh*t together,” she quips.

While she’s unlearned some things from her 20s, Schroeder has learned how to make herself feel (and look) good. Ahead, she shares all of it, from the wellness advice she’d give her younger self to the skin care treatments she legitimately braved a neighborhood evacuation for.

What does your morning routine look like?

As soon as I wake up, I have to put in my eye drops because I have horribly dry eyes. Then I brush my teeth, and I’m not joking, the third thing I do is drink a Celsius, preferably the sparkling apple pear flavor. I wish my husband and kids were here because they know this about me. Sometimes I forget to take them out of the garage and put them in the fridge by our room, and I'm like, “D*mn it.”

After that, it really just depends on the day. If Messer has school, I'm in charge of getting him ready and taking him. If he doesn't, I can chill and get myself ready.

You looked so good at Miami Swim Week. What’s your favorite workout?

I only do one workout. I’m a lazy girl, which is unfortunate because I would love to be more active. But I do EMS [electrical muscle stimulation] training. I've been doing it ever since I had Hartford, so about five years now. You put on this suit that zaps your muscles while you work out. I’ll lift dumbbells, and it might not look like a lot — but it feels like 800 pounds in my hand. I do it for 20 minutes, once or twice a week. I’m telling you, I’ve never been a girl who was toned, but my arm muscles are legit.

What are you watching right now?

I've been waiting to watch Blood of My Blood. Oh, do you not watch Outlander? You need to after this. They had the series finale in April or May, and it was the saddest day of my life. I wore black for a week. I was on Reddit looking up forums of people talking about the show so I could still feel connected to it. Blood of My Blood is the prequel to satiate those of us who feel like they lost a part of their soul when the series ended. I’m waiting to binge it in one night, so right now I’m just watching Mormon Wives.

What’s the most extra thing you’ve done in the name of beauty or wellness?

My doctor told me I should get CO2 laser and Sylfirm X at the same time, just to get it over with. I did it three times, once a month, for three months in a row. My skin looked great once it started working. But immediately after the treatment, my face swelled up. I looked like a creature from The Hills Have Eyes. I couldn’t leave the house.

One of the times I had it done, we got this alert in our neighborhood that they were redoing the telephone poles. Everyone needed to evacuate, and there were going to be police monitoring the area. But I wasn’t going to cancel my Sylfirm and CO2 laser, and I also wasn’t going to leave the house looking like that, either. So I pretended everyone left and stayed home the whole day with helicopters flying around outside. When I got hungry, I had to crawl below the windows to get to the kitchen.

Do you think it was worth it?

Yeah, it really does work. Where you go for treatments matters, though. I had a bad experience with Botox once. It was this random spot in Manhattan Beach. When I look back on that period of my life, my face was contorted. I had hollows under my eyes. My smile didn’t look right. Now, I will only go to the plastic surgeon who did my breast reduction. Shout out to Dr. Firouz. He’s been doing my Botox for 10 years now, and I’ll wait however long I need to for an appointment. Once you find someone that knows your face, don't go anywhere else.

I saw you getting neck and trap Botox on House of Stassi. I love that you're so open about getting these tweakments.

You know what I'm going to do next? He's really excited about it. I'm going to get a breast lift again, and I'm going to get a tummy tuck. Then, it’s going to be game over for you b*tches. I just need to block out a period of time where I can be like, “No one ask anything of me. I’m getting hot.”

I can’t wait to see it. What do you need to get a good night's sleep?

A lot of supplements. Melatonin, magnesium, Xanax — that’s not a supplement. Sometimes I’ll take a Lemme gummy if I’m not taking Xanax. Unisom is also a miracle sleeping pill. I can’t just raw dog sleep.

If you could give your younger self one piece of wellness advice, what would it be?

Take your skin care routine seriously. I only started taking care of my skin in my 30s, and sometimes I wonder what I would look like if I’d been doing everything I’m doing now instead of just using a makeup wipe. There’s a reason all of this skin care exists. It’s good for you.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.