Believe it or not, many people tend to be kinkier than they think. No matter what turns you on in the bedroom, there’s a good chance there might be a kink related to it. Among the more popular kinks you may have heard of are praise kinks, submission and domination, or even degradation — but it’s likely that you may not know much about breeding kinks. Interestingly enough, the term now has over 594 million views on TikTok; on “KinkTok,” users are sharing thoughts surrounding the kink community and implementing its practices in the bedroom.
“A breeding kink refers to unprotected sex that involves fluid exchange and risk of pregnancy,” certified sex therapist Sara Rosen, LCSW tells Bustle. The kink isn’t limited to cis, straight couples, and it doesn’t always center around procreation. For some, it’s a way to play with domination or build intimacy with their partner.
Breeding kinks aren’t necessarily a new concept, but why are they trending now? “Breeding is likely trending due to the overturning of Roe v Wade,” Rosen says. “We tend to eroticize whatever is taboo in society. Having unprotected sex is more dangerous than it’s been in a long time, [and] that makes it easier to eroticize.” For people who have breeding kinks, this practice can be an empowering or even healing sexual coping mechanism. “Engaging in breeding kinks can help us feel like we have some kind of control over something we may feel very powerless to. It could be about taking power back,” says Rosen.
So, what is a breeding kink, and how can you safely explore it? Below, Rosen shares everything you need to know about the trending kink.
What Is A Breeding Kink?
Despite what the name may suggest, there is a wide array of possible motivations behind why someone might be turned on by insemination during unprotected sex. Rosen says, “Breeding kinks can be much more expansive than [just procreation,] encompassing a wide range of sexual dynamics. A big part of a breeding kink is taking a risk and either ejaculating into someone or being ejaculated into. Sometimes a breeding kink can refer solely to the fantasy, and not involve any kind of fluid exchange or even sex.”
In such a hetero-centric society, it can be easy to assume that a breeding kink refers to the fantasy of procreation via penis-in-vagina intercourse. Rosen explains that this is sometimes true, but that the kink transcends the spectrum of gender identity and sexual orientation. “While the description of breeding kinks can lend itself to heteronormativity, it’s something people of all genders and sexual orientations can enjoy. A breeding kink is often more psychological than physical. It can be erotic to feel like your partner is owning you and claiming you in bed, or it can be more of an intimate and loving experience. Unprotected sex is usually an exclusive act reserved for someone you know and trust,” she says.
Because breeding kinks aren’t limited to one specific sexual orientation or gender, Rosen also says that exploring them in the bedroom can be a great way to challenge gender norms. Because there are also mental aspects of the concept, people with any type of genitalia can enjoy being on the “giving” or “receiving” end of the kink.
Why Do People Have Breeding Kinks?
Like Rosen explained, there can certainly be psychological aspects to a breeding kink, and it can derive from the idea of “taking power back” by engaging in it or creating closer intimacy and trust within a loving partnership. On the flip side, there are also downright kinky reasons why others might enjoy fluid-bonding — aka consensually having unprotected sex. “It ties into domination and ownership, and/or it can be about intimacy and safety. There is a very wide spectrum of dynamics that could be acted out through breeding fantasy play. It could be more in the vein of domination and BDSM, or it could be something sweet and trusting. Breeding kinks incorporate the idea of wanting to create permanence with someone.”
How To Safely Explore A Breeding Kink
To reduce the risk of unwanted pregnancy or risk STI transmission with a partner, using condoms or dental dams is always a good way to practice safe sex. Even if you’re monogamous and have already discussed your sexual health with your partner, using protection when you engage in fluid-bonding is a helpful safeguard. If you or your partner are able to get pregnant, it’s also best to use some form of birth control — like the pill or an IUD. As Rosen mentioned, with the recent overturn of Roe v. Wade, it would also be wise for you and your partner to have a plan in place for an accidental pregnancy.
Even if you don’t want to cross the safe sex boundary by fluid-bonding, there are still ways to explore a breeding kink — with or even without a partner. Beyond using a barrier of protection like a condom or dental dam, Rosen suggestgs, “Lean into the role-play aspect. Use dirty talk, tell a partner you’re going to come in them whether they like it or not, even though you both know you aren’t actually going to. Individuals can explore their breeding fantasies without a partner by watching porn or reading erotica while masturbating.”
On the even kinkier side, Rosen suggests trying to live out wilder fantasies by using sex products and toys. “You can also find sex toys that mimic breeding. For alien breeding, check out [sex toy brand Primal Hardwere]. With role-play and the right equipment, you can have an experience that feels close enough to the real thing!”
How To Talk To Your Partner About A Breeding Kink
If you want to explore a breeding kink, the process of talking to your partner about it can seem overwhelming — especially when it comes to involving unprotected sex. To make the task less stressful, Rosen says, “When discussing any kink or topic relating to your sex life, consider timing and location. If your partner just got home from a rough day at work and is speeding to make dinner and so on, that’s probably not the best time to bring up sex.”
Rosen also recommends considering your partner’s feelings and reactions first, and having patience while they process and come to an understanding of what you’re asking. “For best results, bring it up in a way that is attached to a positive experience. For example, doing something fun and bonding together, then asking if you can have a vulnerable talk. When your partner feels close to you and seen, they will be more receptive. Give your partner space to ask questions. Remind your partner that a breeding kink doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to be pregnant or impregnate anyone.” Planning ahead and communicating openly and honestly can bring about better results — and eventually a whole lot of pleasure.
Sara Rosen, LCSW, certified sex therapist